blind

im really like this song by lifehouse... blind... lyrics will follow at the end of this post

im a not risk taker. i try to estimate what will happen next, and try to kinda plan my life in some sort of way. i take precautions and basically take everything one step at a time, cuz i feel in some way that if something happens, at least i'll see it coming. but of course, life doesnt work like that. and i realize that although its hard, thats just how it is. and in then end, the important thing is not if things work out the way you want them to, but if you can catch yourself, or that you have people to care about you when you cant take care of yourself, or cant take care of yourself really well.

its hard telling myself this. its easier to point other people in the right direction, but when you're the one in the situation, its almost hopeless. its like theres 2 me's. one thats rational and another thats emotional.