Back ... and Reminiscing ...

So, I've been back in Canada for a good almost 2 weeks now. My experience in Singapore seemed almost surreal, like it didn't really happen, and I might have imagined the entire 4 months! Everything seems so normal back in Waterloo, everything is exactly how it was before I left, and it seems strange that nothing is really different.

Classes are going well, and I really cannot believe that I am now in 4A. I will have completed my undergraduate this time next year, and that thought alone is pretty intimidating. I'm still not too sure of what I want to go into when I'm done, but I'm getting that vibe from most the people whom I talk to in class, so at least I don't feel alone in that perspective. Hopefully my last coop term will be able to shine some light on what I want to do in the future.

I had decided not to go back to my job in Boston for my next term. There are 2 reasons for that: 1) I feel a bit tired from traveling, and not being at home for more than 2 weeks at a time for more than a year. Even if I don't live at home this work term, I really cherish my family more, especially after this year. There are people who stick by you, no matter how crappy your situation is, or how crappy your decisions are, and those are the people who matter in my life, and those are the people I want to be around. 2) I would like my last coop term to possibly lead to a full time graduate job, and I'm not sure if I want to work in the States. As much fun as it is living in Boston, and feeling like a big city girl, the cost of living is way too high. Frankly, I don't want to be renting a place until I'm 30, I want to own a house or a condo by then, or even before then. It's also nice to live in a politically neutral country, I especially have more of an appreciation of this after traveling, and hearing some not too positive comments on Americans... hehe. Of course, these are stereotypical comments and not indicative of all Americans. :P

So this term has been relatively easy going. I am now taking 5 courses: 1 project course, 1 law and ethics course, pavement design (graduate level course), hydrology, and steel design. I realize that I still have no idea what I want to specialize in, and I still get a taste of everything this way. I have many days where I only have a couple hours of classes, and I'm enjoying quite a bit. I've been spending more time relaxing and have even started exercising on a regular basis. Oh, the joys of the muscle pain - at least that means what ever I'm doing is doing something, right?

I just finished watching the season finale of Grey's, and another episode of Ugly Betty. I really like how heroines are now more realistic. I feel I can actually relate to these characters, instead of a heroine who is "perfect". Sometimes, I feel like Ugly Betty, that I don't belong and have all this responsibility on my shoulders and just don't know how to even juggle everything. And at other times, I feel like I'm Meredith Grey, when I'm just lost in thought. It's like, if I could put my thoughts to paper or narration, I would sound like that too. Of course, there aren't that many cute guys running around my life. *sigh* But, sometimes, I do have my own theories of life, and maybe it would sound more coherent if I narrated it, instead of saying them in my head. Maybe.

So after being in somewhat of a dream state for the past four months, I have some back to earth, and have learned a few life lessons. Some of which I will share.

Some things never change. Some people never change. This doesn't have to be either a good or bad thing. How people look at things change, and perspectives change. Decisions made, even with the best of intentions, can blow up in your face. Bad decisions are made all the time, and although some mistakes are bigger than others, not all are unfixable. And I do believe that most are fixable, with honesty, sincerity and forgiveness. Having said that, when those mistakes blow up, no matter how strong you can stand on your own, its nice to give your friends a chance to catch you. And its a nice feeling to be caught, that's from my own experience from being both the catcher and "catchee". Its a great feeling knowing that even if you mess up, there are people who will help you up, brush the dirt off your knees, and keep urging you forward.

Having been single for the past 7 months or so, I have learned a lot about myself, my strengths and weakness, and most importantly, that I am happy. I am happy being part of a couple, and can also be just as happy by myself. I'm stronger than I thought I was, and know and feel like a kind, smart and attractive young woman. I've also had some time to evaluate what I want and don't want in a relationship. I am stubborn, but I also believe every women has to stand up for their dignity and what they believe in. I deserve someone who will be honest with me, shows me that they care, make me smile, love and accept me, just the way I am. It's kind of similar to my reflection coming back from Boston: every women should feel like a "hot woman." My friends and I came to this conclusion :).