Life's Happy Moments

Last weekend, my parents and some of my relatives took a trip to Houston to visit one of my uncles for his birthday for a surprise. This uncle of mine I've met on numerous occasions, and he's always been able to make me and my sisters and cousins laugh. He reminds me of a really big kid, with his non stop jokes and humour. Even though he's really sick, he still brings a smile or chuckle to the people around him.

Last weekend, my parents and relatives went to see him because he's now in the third stage of cancer, and we're not sure how much better he will be getting. He's been seeing the doctors, taking more medicines, and is in more pain now. My parents and my relatives wanted him to have a happy birthday celebration, and wanted to celebrate it with him.

I just spoke to my dad about his visit earlier today, and he said that my uncle was so over come with emotion that he cried, when he realized that his family had flown into see him. Hearing him so happy, also made me really happy, but also sad at the same time. Sad that he has to go through so much pain, and that this is how life is. You really have to cherish the moments that are special and hold on to the people who are important to you, cuz you never know when that moment can be taken away. Also, when given a chance to make some one happy, you never know how many times that happiness is multiplied and spread to the people around them.

I guess my definition of happy moments is constantly changing. It's hard to picture a life that is without hardships, but I guess it's those moments that make your heart beat a little faster, that rush of emotion, the feeling that you are not alone, and that people care about you, that might be all happiness is.

"Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away." - Grey's Anatomy

My uncle is about the same age as my dad. In fact, they were friends before they each got married, and that's how my uncle met his wife (my aunt), and they lived in Hong Kong before my dad met my mom. Even though I am not very close to my uncle, the thought of losing someone in my family scares me. I do take my parents for granted a lot, and I know that one day they won't be here with me. I guess that day just seems so far away, and I've never imagined my life without them. I guess, I just feel so much safer in the world, knowing that my parents will always be there for me. A parents' love is the greatest, most self less gift in the world. And I don't think that my world could ever be the same without them...

I remember what my dad said when my grandmother (his mother) passed away. He just said, "I'm an orphan now." It's hard to imagine my dad, such a strong person, saying that. But it was true, at 50, my dad was now an orphan. I guess parents are like your big protector in the world. They take care of you, and keep you safe. I don't think you can really find that self less love from any one else.

I just want to take this moment to wish my uncle all the best on his birthday. He deserves all the happiness in the world, and he's still the big kid uncle (I'm actually lucky to have a few uncles like that :)). This is a song that I really like, and I think it reflects the mood of this blog. It's the new song from Goo Goo Dolls that's featured on Transformers, the movie. I LOVE this song, you should check it out!

Before It's Too Late - Goo Goo Dolls

I wander through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
and I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

and hold on before it's too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

and the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you dont live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it's gone

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

Hold on before its too late
Until we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

Hero

I was just reading the news, and the story regarding the truck driver who was killed when he tried to manuever out of the way of oncoming traffic after being cut off by some street racers, really made me stop and think a little. Such tragedies are so sad. They acts are so senseless, and could easily have been prevented if some losers didnt decide to show off, or decide that they had somethign to prove. I mean, what do you do, when you're so young, and you have so much guilt on you? Not only did you take a life, you have also taken away from so many other lives, such as his family and friends.

I guess something that stuck out for me was what his wife said at the end,

"On our first date, he picked me up in a dump truck," Debbie said, laughing at the memory. "I was really impressed. I said, `What?' After that, we just sort of stuck together. It's been fun and it's been too short."

I guess that might be how it is, when you find the person you're supposed to be with. Time will always seem like it's never enough. My thoughts are with his family and loved ones.


A song that comes into mind which reminds me of just enjoying another's company, and just being...

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words,
are said too much
they're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars

Standing Tall Alone

So this week has just flown by, and ended with a bang today with 2 midterms and a night out at Morty's with some friends for wings night, and watching many episodes of Sex and the City. Last weekend was the "meeting" weekend. And I think what bothered me most about the meeting was how disappointing it was. It wasn't so much what happened that made it disappointing, but seemingly lack of thought put into it. And it wasn't until the hard questions were asked that it seemed the wheels of thought started to turn, I just wished that it turned before the meeting. Anyway, it is over, and I have to say, that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I guess another lesson I would like to remember, is that decisions always come with consequences. You can make the decision, but you can't also decide the consequences of that decision. I'm not sure if it really is a corner decision / ultimatum, of cutting someone off after a break up. It's not meant to be hurtful, as least not in my case. I'm just not ready for a friendship, its just giving me time to heal, and if and when I'm ready, perhaps it might happen.

I'm not sure when I will be ready for that again, but for now, I will just enjoy the joys of being single and all the perks that come with it. It's fun and new. I guess its a sense of freedom and excitement that I haven't felt in a while. And may I add, that I'm glad that I'm a girl. :)

The Male Ego Should be Un-Invented

So, I'm sitting at TC, waiting for my name to be called on the interview LCD, and these 2 mathies / engineers guys are sitting next to me, and decide to talk really loudly, despite sitting right next to one another. A typical conversation that I usually hear amongst our UW males, and am frankly really tired of. I could only stand a couple minutes of this, before I just got up and moved to the end of the row, where I could finally have some peace and quiet and collect my thoughts before the interview. Here was the convo (roughly):

"Yea man, I had this really good job offer last term, too bad I didn't take it." guy 1
"Really, man, me too. Man, I have so many interviews this term, and I didn't even apply to that many jobs." guy 2
"So how is math? You switched out of eng into math? Is it alot easier?" G1
"No actually, math is pretty hard. But I'm doing pretty good. Last term I got an 85 in XXX, and (enter some high mark) in XXX. " G2
"Yea, eng is so tough now. But i'm such a slacker. I'm sure I can do better if I only tried."
blah blah blah...

And another time, when one of my freind's mechie freind decided to drop by our class, and pointed out, "wow, your fluid mechanics is SO EASY. Our's is so much harder." Mind you, he was in the room for a total of 3 minutes, and happen to just glance up at an example.
So i was helping out a mechie freind with his fluid mechanics assignment the other day, and fluid mechanics is fluid mechanics. And it was THAT hard, in face, it was almost the same. Of course, I also havent touched fluid mechnics for almost 2 years, so mechie fluid mechanics can't be THAT hard.

...

And this little bickering / ego boosting of self continues. I get so tired of hearing conversations like this. Honestly guys, who gives a damn? Part of this cocky Waterloo persona - ego, is attributed by the reputation of the university, and the high esteem we hold ourselves in. However, these bright young gentlemen seem to be forgetting one minor detail, EVERYONE at UW goes to UW. We are all pretty smart, so who are they trying to impress? If you really had half of a brain, guys, then you would know that real intelligence does not need to be voiced. Especially in such a loud and cocky tone of voice.

You know, half the time, I think that guys just massage each other ego's. How many times do you hear a girl say to a guy, "wow, you're buff." However, how many times have you heard a guy say to another guy, "wow, man, you're ripped." or "you are a tank, dude." Again, the male ego boosting another male ego. And then they feel so proud of themselves that they have some muscle, and think, "wow, girls will like me now! how can they not? not only am i SMART, i've got biceps. I must be the greatest guy on earth." what geniuses.

so, as my friend says to me, "cat, guys are stupid, that's why we need to throw rocks at them. to knock some sense into them." i say, why stop at rocks, let's try boulders :). On an aside note, these are just random things that bother me. There were more pressing matters, but just to keep the conversatino light, i will omit them from this blog. The main messsage is, "you're not that important, im the most important, so i will do whatever is most convenient for myself, makes me feel good, and basically tell that to your face, so that i can put you down."